So I haven't had any more nightmares, not that my day aren't filled with fear and anxiety. I woke up last Saturday night with my new graft clotted only after 2 weeks of being in my arm. After speaking with the Doc he informs me that it can wait till Monday to be dealt with. Monday I go to the hospital wait to be fit in the schedule for a same day procedure. As I sat in the lobby of the hospital alone the fear of the unknown slowly creep-ed in to my mind. Not knowing if they could fix my arm let alone how they were going to do it. By 10am I was finely in a room waiting for them to come get me for the procedure. After yawning all morning the comfort of a hospital bed was a welcoming feeling. While enjoying my sweet escape to La La Land I felt a hand on my shoulder trying to wake me. The nurse informed me they would be here in a couple of mins to take me down to surgery. Quickly those feeling of fear and anxiety came rushing back. Once in the operating room I could feel the rush of the staff prepping. After about 30 mins it was all over and I realized I had been worrying for nothing. Very little pain and a working graft I was on my way to a better day.
I still have other things with my health to deal with this week. Thursday I will be going to New Orleans for an evaluation to be on Ochsner's transplant list as well as discussing removal on old transplant kidney. But all things said I have plenty of Faith and Hope for better day to come. With the Love and support of Family and Friends I know my Life is cherished and Loved. Thank you to those who have verbalized it.
I didn't realize that you still have moments of fear in the hospital still. I guess I just expected you to know all when it came to your body and the hospital. I guess hospitals cause kind of a knee-jerk reaction of fear in most people, even the experienced. Glad you're ok though.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone likes having to worry about their health. I've done it for all these years and it doesn't get any easier.
ReplyDelete